Voice on the other side of the door
by Monopolytophat
Summary: I am the caretaker of the Ruins under mt. Ebott. Now there is the door that leads out to Snowdin. It's a large door, and one day, I hear a knock, and...well...I'm glad he knocked, and I answered.
1. An introduction to my life

Long ago, two races ruled over the earth:

Monsters and humans... And I was queen over one of them.

It's easy to forget than I was once a queen. Not when the beginning of my life was so humble. Of course I never saw myself above any other monster that lived in our kingdom, his kingdom. I am no better than any other creature here, still we tried our best to lead our kingdom. Despite everything Asgore was and still is a good leader. He loved his people as if they were his own family. For a long time our kingdom, or race flourished with the humans, but we possessed something they didn't. Magic a form that they themselves could not use. They were scared of us, our abilities, sometimes the way we looked ourselves played a big part of of anything the humans made a choice. This world wasn't big enough for both kinds to coexist, and something had to be done about it.

Then the war came and nearly wiped our people out of existence. My own family, Asgores family, wiped out by the hand of man. When they still had the ability to use a little magic, the humans sealed us away, like some kind of wild animal. I know they did this out of fear, had they only talked to us, instead of attacking, I am sure we could have found a solution peacefully... but alas none of that matters now.

Once the war was over, for a time we tried to rebuild, to take what fate had dealt us and shape it into something workable. Something liveable. We called it home, Asgore's idea, god how that man was terrible with names. With what supplies we had, with what little resources we could conjure up, we built a shabbily build a new kingdom. A ghost of our race's once proud heritage.

Then monsters started to fall. The move, all the loss we all suffered, and the rebuilding had finally took it's toll on our people. They were losing hope, and that is dangerous to a monster. Monsters often wonder, why hope is so important to us. Well our HP has a lot to do with that. You see HP is an acronym, it stands for hope. The higher your hope is, the stronger your spirit is. The strength of your spirit, will help you overcome any obstacle in your path, at least this is true for monsters. Our souls are linked to our hope- it fuels our magic. It is what drives us. Humans gain power through LOVE. But this is a conversation for another time.

Now the lower you hope is, the weaker you spirit is, the easier it is to give up. To let things hurt you. Once your Hope falls to zero, the magic that sustains you will, fade, and you will become undone. Your mass will shatter into dust. This is why once they started to lose hope we tried to think of ways to keep that from happening. We tried building on ward and outward, along the way discovering, the underground snow forest, we soon called Snowdin, the Waterfall- the lava lands- which was swiftly renamed hotlands by Asgore, and finally settled in a new capital near the edge of the barrier. We called it NEW HOME...Once again this was Asgores doing, but it was still not enough. Monsters continued to fall from loss of hope.

By that time we settled in New Home, I found out I was expecting my first child, my love, my hope- Asriel. In the darkest time, the event of a royal birth gave our people something to think about. Something to hope for. Oh god thinking about it now hurts my heart. He was such a wonderful child. Never a problem, always wanting to help. He was a good boy, and prince. Like his father he cared for any and everyone who lived underground. It was really no surprise he was the one to find the first fallen human since our imprisonment.

My darling Chara...They were an interesting child. There's a reason that no one climbs mount. Ebott. If not for the legends of monsters, then surely the harshness of the climb in and of itself. So it's odd enough to find experienced hikers and climbers up these ways...even more so a child... Whatever the reason the mountain called them, they never told us.

Regardless, we were welcoming to them. There was enough war, and fighting. This small human had been through enough, the look in their eyes could tell anyone. So My husband and I took on the task of raising this fallen human. Once again the underground was filled with hope. The hope that one day we could broker peace with the humans, as we had tried so long ago.

Chara, was a quite child. Kind, and ever curious, but underneath that was an intelligence that could be almost frightening at times. They kept to themselves mainly, only ever daring to come out of their shells with Asriel around. We chalked it up to how they were treated on the surface. This and little social ques were the only tellings we ever had. They were always polite- always proper- and whenever me or my husband made a move that was deemed to fast or moved in a way that was deem unwelcoming- they'd flinch or react as if we were to raise our hand to them. It was disheartening to think someone would mistreat a child, but the evidence was clear...

One time they were being tutored on history by our then captain of the knights. He was teaching them about the war, and the subsequence-al barrier. I remember coming in as the Captain tried so hard to calm them. ' It isn't right- it isn't fair- those humans should be buried down here- not us!' They cried. Never had I seen them so vocal or angry. It was then we learned of their hatred of humanity- their want to wipe out the creatures that hurt them so thoroughly. It scared my husband and I...

It was troubling, but like fools we tried to brush it off, a little after that my husband fell ill one day after eating a treat, made by our children. A gift nothing more but it had Asgore laid out for weeks, poison was the verdict. We found out it was a simple mistake, our Chara and Asriel mistook, Buttercups, for CUPS OF BUTTER. It was easy for one so young to make the mistake, and they did not know of the consequences. Had they of, I am certain they would have not done such a thing in the first place.

….But...One thing still sticks out in my mind. It was during Asgore's recuperation...As normal Asriel showed great remorse for what he had done... But my darling child Chara...I remember...them...laughing...Just laughing it off, as if it were a joke, it was almost chilling. I feel... that they were trying to mask their horror, that they felt truly afraid they had nearly killed their adoptive father, and fell back on the only thing their young mind could think of... That is what I feel at least.

We tried to push past it. We showed them love, taught them kindness and let them grow with us. Alas their stay with us was short, but wonderful all the same...One day...oh god thinking about it now hurts, but I shall try to recount this. One day...they came to us with a rash around their mouth. It puzzled us at first, but that was only the beginning. It only got worse from there. Next came the blisters, I've never seen Asgore so terrified in my life, not even in war, made that man move like he did when Chara collapsed in my arms. Then...Well I won't get into the details, god knows you would never want to experience something like that... Not to you, your enemy, or...your sweet child.

That day the underground lost hope, Asriel lost his sibling, and we lost our child. Fate had taken another thing from us, but it wasn't the only thing to be lost that day...In his grief, Asriel took Chara's soul and absorbed it. Humans cannot absorb human souls, the same goes for monsters, but a monster can absorb a human soul. In Chara's final moments, a second of delirium I am certain, they asked to see the flowers in their died before this request was fulfilled. Asgore and I begged, and pleaded for Asriel not to do such a thing, but he ignored us, and transcended to a monster with unfathomable power. He gently scooped up the body, and went to fulfill, Chara's last request.

He passed through the barrier with ease. For all his power, it would take much more to break the barrier. Of course, we did not think about it, we just wanted our son, Asriel to come back alive...But that too was not to be. He was gone all day, only returning at sunset. He was injured, dying, still holding their siblings body close to his. In a sad we it was not surprising. The humans often attack what they do not understand, and surely a monster, with power carrying the lifeless body of a child would come across as though it had attacked them. Had they had stopped and thought about it...well it didn't matter...did it not...they attacked him, and yet he never rose a hand to defend himself. Even with the power that some would consider a titan...he never hurt anyone...or did anything to defend himself. Just gather their sibling and left. The whole trip was for nothing, it gave absolutely nothing, he did not lay Chara to rest in their village. We did not broker a peace to humans. All it did was take my sweet child.

When guards told us of Ariel's return, we were greeted by the sight of our dying child. In our arm, he faded into dust, spreading out among the flowers. In one day I lost my son, my child, my hope.

We all took the loss in different ways, some lost their hope, others grieved in private and looked towards my husband on what to do. I needed the support of my love, he...He became something else. In his grief, I am certain he went mad. ' Any human that falls down here will be killed, their soul harvested, and we will use this to free us! Then we will take revenge against humanity, and wipe their clean off the face of the earth!' It gave them all hope, freedom. A forced peace- through bloodshed.

I didn't recognize him, no anyone, this was frenzy, it was madness. There was no time to grieve once the first human fell- they were slaughtered. Asgore could have stopped it right then, taken the soul cross the barrier peaceful taken the 6 other souls he need to shatter the barrier and make peace finally...but no- he let his hatred discide for him.

I fled. I could not bear it any longer. They rejoiced at the death of an innocent human, trivializing it as nothing more than a rung on a ladder to climb for freedom. True some held their concerns about- well everything- but the prospect of freedom was an overwhelming idea.

I fled to the only place I felt truly safe, truly at peace. Away from Asgore- away from cities, away from everything.

In hindsight, it is rather funny I fled to the only place I ever felt safe. Where we started from, our old home...I was a coward, but I do not regret the action I took. I sealed the door, the same way they sealed us away, no one can enter only be let out. It was a weaker version of the spell but regardless. It served it's purpose.

When I left I took what remained of my child, and the remains of Chara. I did not want them to remain underground like that, like some ghoulish reminder of our past, forever in limbo in some basement. They deserved to finally be at peace, if not in this life than at least the next. I buried them under a patch of flowers, which I tended to everyday. For a time, all was peaceful but that never lasts.

Then they fell. The fallen ones, the souls that soon Asgore would gather. I often wonder...if he even knew anything about them, or wanted to learn anything about them when they came to him. More than likely not. It would serve as a reminder of his Sins whenever he'd reflect upon his knowledge.

Each was so different than the last but held one thing in comment, determination. It was strangely familiar, like being...almost like being with Chara again.

Because I became the caretaker of the ruins- keeping it's upkeep, I took them in under my wing. I could not let them hurt them. I could not let humanity suffer like we had. We, down below, were much better than that. So I took it upon us to take care of the ones who fell.

I did not wait long until the first one fell, when I came to stay in the ruins.

They were a strange child, they tried to prove so strong, as if they weren't afraid of anything. But that's what they were, scared...They were scared of everything, it reminded me so much of Chara. They were trying to stay brave in the face of uncertainty...But they knew they did not belong there. With much convincing they left my home. For days I hoped they would change their mind, or perhaps my people would have welcomed them with open arms...? Twas all foolishness. Word spreads quickly, and it was proclaimed, another soul had been harvested.

After a while another child fell. They seemed younger than the first one but they had a very high moral code. If they were in the wrong they would apologize, but should you be the wrong one they would hold you up to a standard and come to expect the best of you. The little dancer was so talented for one so young. When they heard about what happened to the others from the monsters in the ruins, they felt it was their moral duty to guild Asgore to the right path...They did not survive their meeting with him.

Determination fuels some, but for others, sometimes there are more forces at work. Sometimes they forget about the cost but rather the reward. One child, the fourth one to fall wanted to push through to the end. To get to the barrier. From what I gathered this child made it all the way to Asgore, through pure force of will, no fighting or anything else...The persevered over adversity. In the end that did not matter at all...They died like the others.

The fifth child to fall was by far the sweetest creature in all of creation. They cooked me dinner, could you imagine- me being taken care of, but it was true by far no one could ever compare to this kind sweet child. Had I have asked they'd probably be still alive and with me right now...But I didn't and for some reason, they believed themselves a burden upon me. So they left. From what I heard, they conquered any problem with kindness and love. Never once did they raise their weapon to fight, no, they used it to create...Unfortunately they met with Asgore, and he did not grant them Mercy...I would not have been surprised if the child comforted HIM in their last few moments.

The final child that had fallen was one that was Just and true. It did not take them long before the story of the other fallen reached them. The innocent blood on the king's hands was enough to move them to action.' How dare he hurt another, this king shall be brought to justice for his crimes.' Before another word could be uttered, they left me. Unless provoked, they would not rise their weapon to harm an innocent. If anything only when fighting seemed to be the only answer did they retaliate. They made it to the king. And fell before him.

That only leaves me now...I tend to the flowers- I look after the ruins and old home, finally I upkeep the seal. My life is in no way glamorous, but it is mine. I do not have the pressures of a kingdom anymore, save for the empty one, no matter how few froggits, spiders and whimsums there are. I am at peace, though it is a lonely one.


	2. Who's There?

It was a little past dawn when I awoken. I have always been an early riser. Well before I became queen. Instead of tending to the monsters underground, or my beloved children, I awake with a more subdued purpose. Nothing like ruling but a purpose still important to me, at least.

I shuffle over to my dresser, getting changed for the day. Nothing impressive, just simple clothing. I make my bed, I fold my clothes and I turn off the lights walking out into the hallway. I pause to look at myself in the mirror. I look so tired. Nothing like I did before the heartache, no joy, just sadness...Maybe loneliness as well. It is well worn on my face, making me look my age, as opposed to how I appear. I know I shall never age, so it is impossible to look older than the day Asriel died, but still I feel it, older than I could ever imagine.

I continue my walk to the kitchen and fix myself a simple meal. Nothing fancy, I have never been a monster of rich foods, just enough to sustain me through the day. I have a lot to do and sitting about will never do. I had a quiet breakfast and then I was off to do my chores.

The first was cleaning the household, I am normally a tidy person so this was done relatively fast and with ease. Once done I locked up and headed out to the ruins of Old Home. Currently there are no monsters that really reside in old home- save for the low level monsters- such as Froggits, Whimsums, Vegetoids,Looxs, Moldsmals, Migops and the visiting ghosts here and there, because of this the ruins are not in the best of upkeep. It is not for lack of trying, for the creatures try so very hard. Rather the inability to perform the upkeep. All the creatures are small and few- since the larger and stronger monsters have moved on to beyond our little home. Still I take pride in it's up keep, and scavenge on the side so there is no reason to leave the ruins at all.

Once finished, I recalibrate the puzzles that litter through the main corridor of the ruins. It is a thankless job, and to be honest there is no real reason to do so. All monsters here are familiar with the puzzles, and it has been long since the last human has fallen. To be honest such relics are dangerous and I worry about someone getting hurt constantly. That being said, I still manage their upkeep, mainly due to the fact these are our history, our culture and to let it fall into disrepair it to forget where we all come from. Call me old fashion but I don't have it in my heart to disassemble any of them. Besides once in a while for fun I like to solve them, tee hee, I may know them by heart but it's good to revisit the past to simpler times.

By the time I finish, I decide to take a break, by then it's noon. Normally and always I go to water the flowers and visit with my beloved Chara. Unlike Asriel who is... I cannot do the same, so I visit their resting place and water the flowers. I sit eat a medger lunch and talk about my do so far. I feel...they would appreciate the company, even though I know they do not know of it. Once I am finished I clean up and bid my farewells. I will visit them tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. If I do not tend to the flowers and them, who will.

A bit more cleaning and upkeep, normally more solemn after lunch and by then it's time to go bug hunting for dinner, if I have ran out the day before. I use to go and get them from a charming little snail farm way back when, but now I do my own food catching. In a way, it feels good to make food from what you catch or grow yourself...even if you have no one to share it with.

I then return home put everything away, as per the norm and by then all that is left is taking care of the seal. It is a pretty quiet affair. Going down the long dark and silent hallway to the door. I suppose it is selfish of me to want anything more. I am undeserving of it. A coward for running from everything I knew and loved, but still, it is my duty to maintain the seal to the ruins. I do not want another child to fall to the hands of Asgore. I will not let another child die.

Once the seal is maintained, by reapplying my magic to the seal, I clean the hallway then head upstairs for some reading and downtime before dinner. Maybe knitting perhaps or maybe something-

"Knock, knock." I froze breath caught in my throat, what in the world. I swallowed as I turned my head, ready to send away whoever was there but instead I got quite the surprise."Who's there." It took me a second to realize they weren't trying to come in, but what on earth where they doing." Toby- Toby who?" I cover my mouth to keep silent. It had been so long since I heard another monster speak so strongly, clearly and openly. If only they were not," Toby or not Toby- that is the question."

I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing so hard, covering my mouth now with two hands. Oh goodness it had been so long since I had heard a good joke. Large tears rolled down my cheeks as I tried to keep my silent laughter in check. My shoulders shook as I tried to compose myself, I listened to the other monster laugh at their own joke. " Okay another one- Knock, knock- Whose there- Snow- Snow who? Snow use I forgotten my key." Oh this monster was hilarious. Goodness gracious- how can I keep from laughing out loud!

I allowed myself silent snickers as he, for I had come to realized the other monster had to have been male with such a deep voice, laughed boistously at his own joke. How could someone be so funny, I couldn't help but wonder. He composed himself as he started to, KNOCK them out. Each one just as funny as the last. I took a seat by the door and listened to his mellow voice. When he laughed, I did as well so not to alert him to my presence just yet. I found myself rather shy, it had been so long since I had exiled myself from the majority of monster kind, this new monster made me feel intimidated. It's funny to think a boss monster such as I could feel this way, not even with Asgore had I felt like this, but here I was hiding away like a child, awake past curfew, listing to him talk. Even so I was content with this.

I found myself more and more enthralled with him, or rather his jokes as he spoke on, his set up, his delivery, his punch line. It was all so funny, I cannot really do it justice. Slowly the hours passed, soon it was time for him to go," Welp, time ta head home, I'll knock a few more out tomorrow, maybe it'll help with my WOODEN performance." I cover my mouth as he chuckled. Soon I heard the tale tell sound of crunching snow, and he was gone. I felt sadly alone again and disappointed. I almost wanted to ask him to stay, but then...he'd find out that I had been listening in on him during his private performance. How would he have taken it...Most likely not well, but maybe tomorrow I could gather the courage and answer his jokes...?

I got up and stretched, my legs numb with how long I had been sitting there. It had been a while, I slowly walked down the hallway taking a backward glance. I wondered who was he, his voice was unfamiliar, yet held a strange familiarity to it all the same. I pondered this as I climbed the stairs and looked at my wall clock, I grimaced at the time, it was getting late and I should have started dinner an hour ago. Still, it was rather nice to spend the afternoon with someone, even if he didn't know I was there.

As I walked to the kitchen I couldn't stop thinking about the mystery comedian. What had possessed him to knock on my door, what had convinced him to start up those funny jokes ( not that I was complaining) I let my mind wander and found myself hoping that he'd return. Maybe when - no if- if he did, I could join him too?

Today I had been to sheepish, heh I need to remember that one, to join him, but he said he'd be back. So maybe, instead of listening in this time I'd answer him. My hands shook a little as I cut up some vegetables. Goodness why was I so nervous, was my self imposed isolation getting to me. Most likely, even though there were indeed monsters in the ruins, they were few and not very social so any run in's I had with them were few and over fairly quickly. Meaning I was a bit rusty talking to others at this point.

I allow myself to stop and relax for a moment. I just need to gather the courage to talk to him. If he returns. This may have only been a one day thing. I sigh as I continue to cook a simple dinner, a garden soup and slice of Snail pie. As I sat at the empty table I stirred my dinner lazily, resting one hand on my palm, replaying this afternoon. As I did all this self doubt and confidence were at war with each other.

What if he didn't want the company, why would he practice alone- I mean he had to be alone- why answer your own jokes.

Nonsense maybe he wants the company but has no one to share it with.

No it'd be rude to impose on his solitude just because I'm lonely...

He may be lonely...both of us could be lonely together..?

I had to smile at that last line of thought as I finished my dinner. I collected my plates and cleaned up, put away the leftovers and wash up for bed. All the while the voice played through my head. As I shut off the lights and head to the bedroom. I change into my nightgown, but I still feel a bit restless. I can't help it, today was different from my normal routine.

So I head back into the kitchen and make a warm glass of Cocoa and head back to bed. As I took in the aroma of warm chocolate an idea strikes me. So I grab an empty journal and pen and started to write down all the jokes I know, careful to not include the ones he told today. When he did return I'd be ready. Hopefully I'd entice a laugh from him too.

As I set the book aside, once I had finished writing, I laid back, the warmth of the cocoa doing it's trick as usual and lulling my into a warm relaxed state. I yawned and leaned back into my pillows, my eyes getting heavier. I leaned over and switched my lamp off and closed my eyes waiting for sleep to take me.

I whisper a good night to my children, the fallen, and let my thoughts drift to earlier today. As my breathing relaxed, I hoped silently for him to was the first time in a long time someone brought laughter into my life. And who is to know, maybe this time I will not be so scared to answer his jokes. Then finally we can laugh together, instead of side by side. I feel myself smile as I allowed myself into dreamless slumber.


	3. Into the unknown

I awoke earlier than normal.

Perhaps it was the idea of hearing him again, or perhaps it was just the excitement of yesterday, whatever the reason, I was up well before dawn and started my morning rituals. All the while wondering if he would be at the door again. The mystery comedian.

I was quick to get change, and grabbed the journal. This morning I forgo the usual, checking myself in the mirror and instead hopped to fixing breakfast.

As I cooked, reheating leftovers from the night prior, I found myself wondering once again about my mysterious voice on the other side. I had to giggle, oh how silly I was being. One would think I had a schoolgirl crush on him. Still. Anyone who loves such old jokes cannot be all bad, can they? Once I finished my meal, I all but rocketed through my chores both morning and noon in the span of a few hours.

Once noon hit, I once again found myself watering the flowers at Chara's resting place, and as I promised, enjoying a meal with them. I told them about the stranger at the door, about his sense of humor and about how he was supposed to return. I talked about how today I may engage in actually talking to him. Soon enough I finished, then I bid them farewell, but as I turned to leave. Right before I exited, I spotted something out of the corner of my eye. It was that flower again.

I heaved a heavy sigh. A long time ago, a little after I had left Asgore's side, and new home's madness. Back when I first started my care of the ruins, this flower, golden like all the other flowers among my care but with the mind of a monster, appeared to me. At first they seemed _benevolent_ , good hearted and maybe a little lost and confused. I took pity on the small creature. At first but Soon enough, like so many others, he showed his true colors as the manipulative horrible creature it was.

I soon found it stalking me, sometimes in my own home. Sometimes, just watching me from afar. Other times I caught it attacking the weaker poor monsters of the ruins. Whatever it wanted, I am sure, I wish to be no part of , there were it's moments when it was solemn, like now. They never insulted or attacked, or anything of the sort, here among the golden flowers. No he held himself respectfully, and never once sullied this sacred place. It was odd, jarring really, so out of place. Our eyes caught, mine flickered towards the flower patch, as if a dare for him to try anything. When I looked up he was gone. I still have his eyes burned into my soul, that empty yet contemptful look.

I shook it off as turned and walked home. Trying to shake off the feeling of being watched. Every time I spotted that flower took a long time for me to be free of the feeling of being watched, or pursued.

The walk home was quiet as I pondered all this, and putting away everything was equally uneventful. All there was at this point was to reapply the seal and do some last minute cleaning, if I so choose. I pause at this thought and for a brief moment wondered what I was to do. That monster was a problem. True it had yet to kill a single creature underground, but I got the strange feeling it was much more dangerous than it let on.

I walked down the stairs, and hall, still lost in thought. Thinking of a course of action weighing heavily on my mind. I stopped at the door, automatically cast the spell for the seal, for I have done it so many times before and sat down in thought. Wondering how to either capture or talk to it. Perhaps if I learn more about the strange flower creature, I would know the best how to deal with it.

" Knock Knock." The sound of someone knocking on the large door, spooked me out of my thoughts and I let loose a small sound, almost giving away, that I was sitting behind the door." Whose there-waiter- waiter who- waiter minute let me tie my shoe laces." His laughter filled the small space as I tried to keep my own laughter in check. In my thoughtful state I had forgotten about him. It then struck me, he had returned just as he had said he would.

I sat back down and listened to him, telling jokes for a while, all the while, trying to pluck up some courage to say something to him. Alas I could not and another night passed without me saying so much as a word to him. It felt a little frustrating to be honest. There he was, and here I was...Hiding again. No tomorrow I will say something to him.

That's what I'll say the next day, and the next day, and the day after that. Before I knew it, I had gone an entire month without speaking to the mystery monster. As each day passed a tried and failed to say anything to him, but no, at the last moment I would always let some little fear overcome being said I did, however, learn a thing or two about him.

He's witty, and incredibly intelligent, some of the word play he comes up with, would put most scholars to shame. He's prone to lapses of deep thought at times. He's fast to the uptake and quick at thinking on his feet. Sometimes he's not alone. Someone else joins him, but for the life of me I do not know whom seeing as the other voice is father away and prone to shouting.

To be honest this whole situation I've fallen in is rather frustrating. To be so close to someone, who may be willing to talk to you, aside from the simple good morning, but never hold a conversation is as off putting as it sounds. So finally, after much mental preparation and steeling my resolve to talk to him, I picked a day to speak with him.

The night before I feel as though my stomach is doing back flips. As I lie awake in bed that night, I can't help but wonder how he would take to a partner to his jokes. Will he laugh, will he run...Who is to say. I look over to my clock and sigh, it's late but I am here wide awake. I wonder if he is too. No, the speed at which he talks tells me he is one to take things easy, no doubt having a good night's sleep. I stared up at my ceiling, finally after a long time, and possibly out of boredom I fell asleep.

When the next morning arrived, I tore through my chores as fast as I possibly could. Excitement filling me and making me determined. It was today, I was sure of it, today was going to be the day I finally speak to him. Never one to skip over my beloved Chara, I quickly apologized to them, hastily watering the flowers. I told them, today I would speak to the. Maybe if they were alive, they would be playfully ribbing me about my childish fears, and my attempts to prolong meeting him in 'person'. It was a rather one sided conversation to say the least, but I pray in time they will forgive me.

Finally I head home. Skipping lunch and grab my impromptu joke book and sat down and waited. Then waited...then waited...I was beginning to lose hope he would not show today, despite him becoming a rather regular. When I heard a familiar. " Knock Knock." I had to be brave. I just had to say something today regardless of what would come...I can't keep going on like this.

Mustering all my courage and trying to sound as calm as possible I answered back before giving him a chance to," Who is there?" There I had done It! I felt almost giddy for my courage, but I soon realized he did not answer back. For a moment I was scared he had run off when he did not answer right away. I looked down, feeling a weight in my heart. My eyes watered, the only company I had, and I chased them away, what a fool I was. Had I not answered-

" Dishes."

My heart leapt into my throat, he answered back, and with a new one. I could barely contain my excitement any longer, it was leaking into my voice." Dishes who?" Surely I had to be dreaming, could he really be answering me back?

" Dishes a really bad joke." For the first time since I had heard him, I let my laughter spill forth, no longer afraid to hold it back. Soon I heard him laugh again as he knocked." Knock Knock." Oh how long I had waited, now to actually be doing this here. It was almost like a dream come true.

" Who is there?"

" Dumbbell."

" Dumbbell who?"

" Dumbbell doesn't work that's why I knocked!" Oh wow, how can anyone contain their laughter to something so funny I shall never know.

It went on and on, for hours, until finally, I crack open my own book, flipping through the pages and stopped at one of my own. This back and forth building up my courage once more. So I thought, that maybe I could give it a whirl. In the lull of the joke telling, I leaned forward and knocked.

" Knock knock." He answered back without hesitation but rather with much vigor.

" Whose there?"

" Little old lady?"

" Little old lady who?"

I pause to make the line more dramatic. Then finally go in for the kill, metaphorically speaking of course." Oh I didn't know you could yodel." I pause, waiting and was rewarded with deep hearty laughter. I heard the sound of something hitting the door, as the man laughed. His laughter seemed to have gotten closer somehow.

" Man lady you are good!" I had to blush, he was the professional, not I. Still we shared a laugh and continued on. Trading back and forth jokes with one another, it was nice to finally have some real company.

Soon enough the jokes drizzled into small talk, mainly him for apologizing for intruding upon me if I felt so, I told him it was alright and I enjoyed his company. Then we played a round of 20 questions. I asked him something about himself, he did the same for me. We both agreed, that when we did meet physically we would trade each others names. Until then I was known as Little old lady, and he was known as the punny comedian. We talked, well into the evening.

Eventually, he had to leave. He had a younger brother who would get upset should he miss his bedtime story. I found it rather endearing that he cared for him. We both exchanged goodbyes, and I could hear him shuffling to leave.

Before he left, and even though I knew he would return, I felt compelled to ask if he would come back tomorrow. There was no hesitation replied with a hearty," Of course gotta keep knockin' them out somehow." This man is really interesting to say the least and I was happy to have finally made a friend.

As I get up and stretch, I give the done one final pat. Turning to leave I spot it again. The flower creature. It looked very angry with me. I open my mouth to speak to it, but it quickly retreated into the earth before I could utter a word. I quickly walk over to the spot it was moments before, but it was gone. Oh well, it would return, it always did.

I climbed the stairs and head off to the kitchen to start supper.


	4. A Talk

Have you ever had a dream, only you didn't know it was a dream...?

That's what I had last night... It was a wonderful dream. A bit embarrassing, but still a warm pleasant dream. Allow me to elaborate, oh and please do not judge me harshly for what I am about to tell you...

I slowly awoken in a nice large bed, I heard birds singing outsides my windows. For a moment I thought I was back at my old home, or new home as it were. Yawning gently I turned my head slightly at the back of my bed partner and giggled softly at his rhythmic snoring. He...didn't sound like Asgore...and the light was too strong for us to be underground. I took a deep breath and sighed happily, clean fresh air. I leaned over and gently shifted out of bed- 8 o'clock. It would be considered sleeping in, for me at least.

I walked over to the window and moved the curtains to take in the view of the small field before me. Behind me however I heard a soft groan. I couldn't help but laugh," lazy it's time to get up. " I was greeted by roll of the body and a pillow firmly placed on his head. He looked to be almost willing himself back to sleep.

" It's far too early for me to be up- Tori it's Saturday... Just let me die- go on without me, tell the kid I've had a good run. Take care of my brother for me." It was my friend from behind the door, was friend, now lover. I giggled once more as I made my way to the bed and leaned over him. He shifted slightly but did not make any further movements.

I placed both hands on my hips and towered over him," really, alright but I guess that means your favorite pancakes and black coffee are out the window..." No movement, I would have to pull out my big guns on him. I lean further in and whisper." That also means missing saying goodbye to my child and your brother while I send them on errands to give us the house to ourselves... And me possibly taking you up on your offer to show me a ...good time...In every room of our new home, my love..." I purred out the last of the words. That did the trick as he slightly shifted.

" Your not...yanking my chain are you..Just to get me out of bed at 8..." I move down to his back and kissed his spine. I felt him shiver lightly at the soft touch. The pillow moved ever so slightly as I saw only a white dot among darkness." Tori...that's not fair..." He gave a soft little groan. I stood up again and gently traced my finger down his back, stopping short of his pelvis. He let lose another groan, as I eyed him, had we been alone we have done more along time ago- but we were not and I do not wish for my child or his brother to hear us. He rolled over, though I still couldn't see him clearly and he muttered an," alright you win- I'm up, I'm up. I'll save dying for a work day..." He muttered tiredly.

…...

I looked at the clock as I reminded myself of the dream above the surface. It really was a wonderful dream. I had a new family, I was back on the surface and a lover...the man behind the door who knocks. I roll out of bed and sigh, realizing this room was way too small compared to the room in my dreams. I shuffle to get dressed and softly release a sigh. If only I could sleep more maybe then I'd get to see him. The man in my dreams. If only it was possible.

Compared to the dream I had. This mornings events seemed rather empty and even less fulfilling than I had grown accustomed to. I went through my daily motions, as normal the dream still lingering in the back of my mind as I worked. Finally at lunch, I had my afternoon chat with my child. It was once again followed by watering. Then the new highlight of my day, jokes with the voice behind the door.

I blushed lightly as we talked, still remembering the dream I had the other night. Oh lord, I dare not tell him, it was too personal and almost lewd of me. Besides today marked the first day we talked- really indepthly talked.

" Knock knock."

He paused, it filled me with excitement because now...He was pausing for me.

" Who is there?'

It made me giddy because I could hear it in his voice, he was waiting for me to respond. It was our greeting now. Knock knock, who was there. Heh...It made me so happy, because for the longest time no one needed me...until he knocked and now he expects me to answer. Oh I haven't felt like this in a long time. It made me feel young again.

" Adore."

Ah an oldie but a classic, I contain my giggles." Adore who?"

There was a pause," Adore's between us that's why I'm knockin!" I could not help but laugh aloud as his laughter swelled and mingled with mine. I looked at the door as we both calmed down. His voice came through, albeit a bit muffled, the door.

" How ya doin' taday?"

I couldn't help but blink, my face growing warm at the question. How long had it been since someone genuinely asked how I was doing? I smiled back, silly as it may be- he could not see it but I am sure he was smiling.

" I am well, thank you for asking... how are you today?" I got comfortable as he spoke.

" Oh I can't complain," There was a beat of silence as we sat there. This was the first real time talking to one another. True yesterday was us going back and forth and we learned a little bit about one another, but this was different. This was an actual conversation. It felt a little stiff and awkward. I shook my head and jumped as I heard him chuckle." Heh, sorry if I'm a little STIFF on ya. I guess...I'm not use to speaking through a door...Guess it makes me seem like I'm WOODEN to ya..."

I could not help but laugh, thank goodness. I felt so awkward, but this man was amazing brilliant at ice breakers.

" Nonsense, you know I ADOOR our time together." I felt my face heat up again as he laughed.

" Heh, glad to hear that. Wouldn't want ya TREE LEAF." Now it was my turn to laugh. True the conversation was rather silly but it did wonders for my anxiety and made me feel more at peace talking to him.

" Oh how did your brother like his bedtime story?" There was a pause through the door.

" Oh Paps loves the classic Fluffy bunny." I had to giggled softly to myself, so not to insult him. I found it so wonderful how he tended to his younger brother.

" My, he must be so young, is it wise to leave him alone like that?"

There was a pause and another awkward laugh," to be honest Paps an adult...But the mans so innocent...He really makes me proud, never would hurt a fly. No fooling once a fly got trapped in our house and he sent the time trying to usher it out on it's way." There was another laugh as I smiled.

" That innocence sounds so pure...It sounds like something worth protecting.."

He chuckled again." Old lady you have no idea how hard I work to protect Papyrus..." It made my heart fill with pride, knowing there was at least one monster out there who knew to protect the innocence of another being. This also got me a little curious about him.

" Tell me have you always lived here?" There was a pause as he spoke up.

" Eh...No...I use to leave a bit further out..but it's nothin' to really talk about now." Thus began a back and forth between us.

Today marked the first REAL conversation me and him shared.


	5. The very beginnings

"Knock, knock-"

" Who is there?"

" Spell."

" Spell who?"

" W-H-O."

We both howled with laughter as we settled down to begin our afternoon ritual. I sat down and smiled warmly as we begun another, some what awkward conversation." Good afternoon, sir, how are you today?" I blinked at the loud laughter.

" Please- I am no sir, just... I dunno call me- Pun and leave it at that...sir sounds so stuffy." I had to chuckle, my, he was so casual.

" Alright...Pun," I can't help but giggle as he chuckled." You never did answer my question. How are you today?" There was a paused and amused chuckle.

" Can't complain, lady how is you today?" I blink and look down. How long had a truly friendly monster asked me that...How am I doing...I sigh and look forward.

" I am here, my friend...I am here..." There was a pause as I hear him sitting down. He sounded like he was suckin on his teeth. Then after a long moment, he responded.

" Heh...Sound like me..." I rose a brow at that. He continued taking my silence as leeway to continue." I mean...Going through the motions...I'm here too..."

I looked forward. Then carefully chose my words." It is hard to believe that you could be 'going through motions'- "I heard him give a soft if not solemn chuckle through the door, that separated us.

"…I guess that's how I want it to seem like huh…Ya know somethin' about talkin' through a door, just seems easier huh…I mean, ya don't have to deal with them lookin' atcha…or…judging how you…Not seeing a face is just easier ta spill yer guts…"

I nod in agreement and sigh," I suppose your right, and wrong." The made a thoughtful humming sound.

"Really whys that?"

I look down in thought and bit my lip searching for the words to explain," Well even if you cannot see them if it is someone you grown to like of, it is still really hard to talk too."

Another thoughtful hum could be heard through the door as I heard Pun shift," I suppose your right. Guess it's both a good and bad thing then huh…" I looked down in thought and debated on actually speaking to him, on a more personal level. In the end, I decided not to. It was still too early in our friendship to burden him with my past. That being said, I did want to show I, myself, was supportive if ever he needed it.

"You know…If ever you need a friend to talk to, I am only a knock away." I could hear him chuckle behind the door as he spoke back to me.

"Me too lady…Me too…So then besides being here up to anything fun behind that door?" I blushed and looked down in thought. I breath out a sigh and had to smile to myself.

"So then, besides being…here what have you been up too?"

…

Instead of our usual back and forth with jokes, for the a while we just talked. Some fun things to lighten the others mood. Mainly funny stories to pass the time.

I don't remember a time I laughed so hard.

"So here I am right, didn't know what was going on, I walk into the kitchen when the pot explodes- my brother and his friend are silently freaking out as he looked down at myself. I'm covered with noodles and spaghetti sauce. They look ready to bolt, my brother himself ready to jump out the closest window. I swear to god, it was the most hilarious thing I've ever seen in my life, I wish I had a picture of it.

To be honest at the time I felt bad I mean, he was only a kid and she herself was pretty young so I just grin annnnnndddddd." A pause as I hold my laughter for him to finish. "I say to them, 'Welp- guess dinners on me!"

I howled with laughter- both of us laughing so hard, my sides hurt and I couldn't breathe but I didn't care. It wiped a large tear from my eye as I tried to catch my breath. I could hear him doing the same. It didn't seem fair he always told funny stories. When there was a lull in the conversation I decided to tell one of my own.

"If I may, pun, I would like to tell a tale of my own." I heard him chuckle, I wonder what it is about me that amuses him so.

"Alright lady, shoot."

He always had good stories to tell and was so funny too. I desperately wanted to, emulate him, at least in the sense, of making him laugh or giving him something interesting to hear at least. Now that I thrusted myself into the lime light, I felt strangely shy. What could I tell him, what could I say. I begin slowly.

"Well what about the time I had to fish my husband out of a stream-"

"Oh so your married?"

Stupid. I look down and softly sigh, being with him, made me forget for a moment WHO I was. "No…At least no anymore- he has not fallen or anymore…" There was a pause. I felt sadness, and anger build within me. How could I forget something so important? I wanted nothing more than to simply run away from the conversation. I had ruined it.

"Ya know lady…this isn't any of my business…But…Eh…I'm sorry I'm no good at this…heh… What ever happened, I'm sorry that it went down…"

It was strangely nice to hear an apology, but it was unwarranted nor necessary.

"Oh please do not be sorry. It happened long ago, and am a better person for leaving. Or at least in my heart I am." It is true, I feel like I did the right thing leaving Asgore, I do not regret what I did. Still, it hurts sometimes to think the person I loved for so long could leave me. Could do those things.

An uncomfortable silence fell over us, once again I feel it is my fault. I almost wonder if he left me to avoid the awkward place I have put us.

"….SO then, lady, tell me about this rescue mission- was the guy big or small? I want a good mental picture here."

I smile to myself and mouth a thank you, he truly is someone different, perhaps the underground has changed for the better.

I look down and to this day I do not know what possessed me to ask but I soon find myself asking.

"Before I tell you my story may I ask you a question?"

"Sure lady shoot."

I find myself gripping my knees as I tremble, why am I so scared or nervous? "How do you feel about the barrier…or for that matter king Asgore….?"

"Eh?"

I look down as I felt a wave of foolishness wash over me. "I am sorry…Perhaps I should not have asked of you…."

"Not a question of askin', just more or less surprised at the question…I guess…Well I ain't a fan of the barrier, don't get me wrong, and as for the King…I don't know him personally so I can't tell ya if I like 'im or not."

I feel frustrated and was about to say something else but he pressed on taking my silence as leeway to continue.

"And if you're asking me how I feel about the souls needed to break the barrier…Ehhhhhhhhhh it's one those grey areas for me- I mean yeah we NEED the souls but…I don't like the idea of killin' doesn't appeal to me. So I wash my hands of it. I mean…I don't think we'll ever get out so why bother…"

I feel a mixture of emotions. Some relieved, happy almost, but sad and frustrated as well, but the one that is strongest is concern.

"Are we really that hopeless?"

There was a long pause then a clear of the throat and an awkward chuckle.

"Lady, maybe we should think of something else. Now about that fishing for husbandos?"

He changed the conversation, so I did not press it any further.

…

Soon enough it was nightfall, some good jokes and stories between us to pass the time. I now looked forward to tomorrow, and the next day and so on and so forth. He has really turned my afternoons and evenings around.

We bid each other good night. Then I returned upstairs to start dinner.

It is funny is it not.

Never before had I felt this excited to joke and talk to someone in the manner I had come accustom to. He is certainly different, but a good person and I am thankful to have made such a nice friend.


	6. Starlight talk

My rein as Queen only lasted a day.

The human is gone, they made it to the surface. Asgore is dead, as sad it was and despite the anger I feel for him, I do hope he rests in peace where ever he is, and that his death was swift and merciful. We've lost all the souls we've accumulated so far so we are back to square one- hope to get to the surface is dwindling.

When I resumed my control of the throne, I tried to instill a new law to govern over our underground kingdom, no human shall be harmed should they fall down below. It was met with resistance- especially from the captain of the guards. She opposed me, with a show of force, but I stepped down. Fighting would get us nowhere. On top of that, she didn't really want to fight me, I saw it in her eyes. She was a child that was lost and confused, and hurting. She was looking for someone to lash out at. Someone to hurt as badly as she did.

I could not allow that so I stepped down peacefully. Walking out with my head held high but quietly all the same. The underground had changed so much since I had been away, everything looked so older and different. Alas their thought process was still the same. Harm humans to get what they want in the end…I never should have left the ruins…

I got closer to my ruin door when I heard the sound of footsteps following me. I stopped and turned, no one in sight. I sigh and stood still speaking aloud.

"Whomever is following me, kindly stop, I shall not fight you. I have peacefully abdicated my throne to empress Undyne- the Undying…."

Slowly from the shadows a monster walked out, I could not see him clearly, but he made his presence known.

"Heh…. Hey…I think we know each other…?"

I froze, as a small smile formed on my face. Regardless of the solemn atmosphere around us, I am truly happy to meet him in person. He parts the gloom that hangs over me as we meet in person for the first time. Then offers to walk me to my door, the gentlemonster, that he is.

Soon enough he looks in and takes in every detail of my corridor and asks to come over. Recently his brother has left home and he feels lonely. I agree happy to have some company for once. I invite him in. We spend the night together talking. We agree that neither wants the other to go without so he moves in with me. Taking up the room under construction.

It was like he breathed new life in the ruins. Making every day new and bright. The laughs we shared while talking or completing mundane tasks. The heartache we grieved, for the fallen family we both had, his relatives, my children. I am thankful at least he has his brother still, regardless of how rude he is to not call his older brother.

Whenever I bring that matter up to him. He smiles and says,' that's my bro for ya, he's most likely out livin' the dream and helpin' monsters…He's truly wonderful.' I never press him afterwards.

We share quiet moments together, like reading by the fire, or talking to one another. The strolls we take, I showed him where my darling children rest, he asked to scatter some ashes there as well, so I allowed it.

In a way we became a family. Then one day he seemed more solemn than normal. Asking for my cellphone. When I asked him why he needed it. He just smiled and said he had to make one last important phone call.

Later that evening he returned it. It seemed unused but I am sure he did something to it, he is a brilliant monster after all. After wards we spent the night talking.

I do not know what I would do had he not came into my life when he did…

…..

Another dream.

Another confusing and frustrating dream.

I mull over my thoughts as I do my rounds for the day, cleaning, working, weeding and tending to my child's resting place. Upkeep of the house and cooking lunch. Soon enough it comes to my favorite time of day. I grab my joke book and make my way down the violet corridor I have transverse so many times before.

I take my normal seat and a wait the familiar sound of tapping. It is not a long wait- it never is.

"Knock, knock."

"Aries"

"Aries who?"

"Aries a reason I talk this way."

We share a laugh as we settle down.

"Good day, how have you been fairing my friend?" I speak through the door as I hear him move in the snow.

"Ehhhh another day another pun, nothing new- you?"

I sigh. "Nothing new, I am very much the same…"

We pause in silence as I for once strike up a conversation.

"May I ask you a question?" Without waiting for a reply I hurriedly ask, "Have you ever dreamed vividly?" There was a strangely long pause once I blurted out my question. I feared he walked away or something.

"Hello di-"

"No…. I'm still here…Just trying to find a way to answer that…why?" I blush, then look down. We are still new to one another, how can I tell him I am having dreams of us together. As friends or lovers, looking at this dream it Is up in the air, but the other was pretty clear.

"It is just a question. I've been having very vivid dreams…They are nothing to speak of really." I add hastily as he mulls over my words.

"I have them a lot, I just don't like thinking about them…."

Oh, how silly of me to remind him of something that he wants to forget.

I look down and blink smiling as I face the door more.

"What do you like to do for fun, we always speak of past stories or funny anecdotes, but we have never really spoke of what we ourselves like to do personally."

There was a surprised grunt and a chuckle.

"Well…Let's see…. Hmmmmm, never really thought about it before. Well, I like science some could say I'm a bit of a buff with it-" AH-HAH! I knew he was brilliant! "Ya know I like jokes and the occasional prank or two. What else, I like reading, ketchep… My brother." He chuckled as I blushed.

"Is that all?"

There was another pause, "I love Astronomy." I widen my eyes a bit it is a surprising answer to say the least. As if he could read my thoughts he spoke up hastily, "Hey don't judge me, I've always loved studying stars and constellations…"

"No, I did not judge you, if anything I find it rare that someone would take interest in something like that."

There was another chuckle, "It's the only reason I want to leave the underground. Look don't laugh…But one of my dreams is IF we ever get out of here, I'd like to see the stars for reals and show my brother the constellations…It's a big dream, and impossible so I don't think too much about it."

I look at the door, he spoke so passionately about it, only to end weakly, as if giving up on ever achieving his dream. I look forward. "I do not blame you for wanting to see them, they are truly a beautiful sight to behold."

"Ya sound like your speaking from personal experience…"

I blush and nod before speaking up, "I am. I am a very old lady after all." I add with a weak laugh as he chuckles back.

"Yeah don't sound that old ta me…"

I sigh and look down at my hands, they tremble slightly as they rest on top of the joke book I brought along. "Trust me dear friend, sometimes I feel far older than you would ever come to understand."

There was another pause as he spoke aloud," Well, in any case you know my hobbies…but what about you, what do you like to do in your free time, other than hang out with me?"

I bit my lip and look down, hnm, I never gave it much thought. "Alright…Well, let's see…I… I am a home maker by choice, I love reading as well, I love jokes, I…I love children, I wish one day to be a teacher…" I grew solemn as I talked to him. I felt he could sense it for he spoke up.

"Heh, that sounds pretty nice actually."

…

Soon enough time slipped by and we parted ways. It was getting late, I had to fix dinner and he had to tend to his younger brother. I made my way down the hall and smiled. Today had really been fun. Interesting, in a lot of ways as well.

I cleaned up around the house then started dinner. Without another person to talk to, the time passes slowly and is a bit lonely. I sigh gently as I start dinner. A simple stew, with homemade bread. As I stir the pot, I am lost in thoughts. Mainly mulling over today's events.

It startled me when I heard a faint sound. It was so soft, it was very hard to hear, I am lucky to be blessed with such fine ears. I smile faintly at that thought as I walk, towards the source of the sound. It…. Was coming from downstairs? The door- someone was knocking.

I wiped my hands on my apron and gathered my dress, so not to trip over my helm as I hurriedly walked downstairs to the sealed ruin door. I could hear another knock.

"Eh…. Knock, knock…."

HIM, wait, why was he here. I stood still stunned for a moment. It was far too late for him to be here. I walk a step closer to hear him mutter to himself.

"Geeze what am I doin…I'm sure she's busy or somethin' by now…"

I smile faintly at that. He mutters on," One more time buddy, then ya just head home…" He clears his throat." Knock, knock."

I smile, "Who is there?"

There is silence for a moment before a chuckle. "Have you forgotten me already?"

We both laugh, still my curiosity takes over. "My friend it is late what are you doing here?"

There was a pause, as if he was gathering his thoughts, or at least that is what I assume. "Heh…. yeah it is…See didn't need to go home apparently my bro's spending the night at his friends for a special 'friendship building once in a while nightly ritual.' Or more commonly referred to as a sleep over…"

Our laughter died, soon realization hit me, maybe he was just as lonely as I was. I look down at my feet as he spoke up, "Yeah so I wanted to stop by and say night."

I shift and blush, what a kind man. I look at the door as I heard the sound of him moving to leave. I have to stop him, something with in my soul compels me to speak out.

"Wait."

It stopped. "Eh?"

I blush harder, I never knew I could turn so red, nor get so hot. It felt like a faint memory to me of a bygone time, "Please do not leave just yet."

There was a pause as the sound got closer to the door, "Alright lady…I can stay."

I smile to myself. "If the cold dose not bother you, I would like to ask if you would like to stay and chat, perhaps bring something to eat?" There was a chuckle, it sounded strange, relieved?

"Hey no need to worry about me, cold goes RIGHT THROUGH ME." He chuckled, I couldn't help but laugh, I do not know why but the way he said it, it must be some sort of pun.

"Ya know what. Yes. I will take you up on your offer." I smile widely at this, "Just give me a moment to grab something to eat and maybe get a book or something."

There was the sound of something walking away. As I excitedly turned and ran upstairs, grabbing some things, a blanket a bowl of soup and bread, something to drink, my own books, the joke book included. As I head back downstairs and lay everything by the door, I look around. The door dose get chilly, and despite everything he says I do not like the idea of him being cold. So I head back upstairs get a log from my kindling and set it beside the door, hoping the heat from a controlled fire would seep through the door and warm him.

I start a warm cheery fire as I smooth out my blanket and set my food down upon it. Then wait, it is not for long. Soon I hear the familiar sound of footsteps, "Knock, knock."

I laugh, "Who is there?"

"Doris."

"Doris who?"

"Doris locked that's why I keep knocking."

We share a laugh. Then I hear rustling, a que to start eating. I take a bite and stir my bowl. I feel a new warmth, that is unexplainable. It is not from the fire, maybe the company. "So then… What is it you are eating?"

There was a shuffle," Heh garbage, or at least what my bro refers to, it's a burger and fries. Yerself?"

I raise a brow and look down at my meal. "Stew and bread- all homemade. It is nothing special."

He laughed, "Still a lot better than the c-er- Junk I eat." We both laugh. Taking another bite, I look up at the door as he speaks. "Heh, so…you said you've seen the stars before, right? They look as good as the pictures?"

I shook my head, "No, even better. There are no words to describe the stars in the sky, oh how I miss it." I trail off and finish my food solemnly. He is now currently leaning against the door. Or at least I assume so.

"Heh, sorry you must not like to be reminded of that. Have…You ever been on the other side of this door?"

I sigh and look down, "Once a long time ago, but I did not like what I saw. So I returned here."

There was a bit of silence on the other end of door, then he spoke up, "I'm sorry lady, sounds like you got dealt a bad hand…If it helps any I know the feeling."

I smile. It does. I look down and lean back taking a bite and choosing my words carefully. "Why, do you feel we will never go to the surface, last time we spoke and even now you sound…slightly pessimistic that we will ever make it to the world above us."

He was silent then spoke, "Just a hunch I have, I mean, been so long since a human fell and even if they did how do we know we'd even get up there. Stay up there, if we got up there, what's ta stop the humans sending us back of the next human to fall. No…It's better just to…Be happy with whatcha got. Who knows how long that will last."

In a way he is true, still a part of me wished him to be wrong. I look down. The conversation was so bitter now. I look at the door. "One day, when I am strong enough, my friend, I shall come through this door."

"Oh…Yeah?"

I smile he sounded interested.

"Yes, when I do, I wish to give you my name in person." The man chuckled.

"Sure me too, heck we can make a day of it, I'll introduce ya to my brother Papyrus, we can make a run at Grillby's."

I smile, it's something to look forward too.

"Is there a library in your town? Maybe I can pick up some new books?"

"You bet there is, but it's sign is totally misspelled, they like it though, makes them unique from the library in home capital, so they kept it like that."

I laugh, "How charming." We both laugh.

"We can head to the wish room too if ya like, they ain't real, but in a way I can show you the stars."

I smile. "I would really like that Pun. I would come over and make you and your brother some dinner, maybe even bake something for you both."

I look down at my plate and smile, a promise for the future. One day I would leave the ruins if only for a day and see how the underground changed.

But why stop there?

I shift and smile, "Maybe one day, should we ever leave the underground…I could perhaps join you and your brother…"

He was silent but it was not so much a bad silence.

…..

Once dinner is had we both talk, then fall into a comfortable silence. "Do you mind if I read a bit…?" There was a chuckle from behind the door.

"Sure, lady that actually sounds like a great idea, mind if I steal it?"

I laugh, "Only if you promise not to sell it." We laugh and settle down. It is nice. I look up from my book and smiled, "Would you like to hear a snail fact? I find snails so fascinating, they are so versatile as well. For food or studying they are marvelous little creatures."

He chuckled, "Guess you could say saying snail facts can help ya COME OUT OF YER SHELL?" I snort and hide a laugh as the monster continues. "What's wrong lady? Forgive me I'm a little SLOW on the uptake sometimes."

I laugh and shook my head, "Do you not mean SLUGGISH?" We both laugh hard as I lean against the door and sighed happily. I can hear him do the same.

We settle in a comfortable silence with whispers of a conversation here and there. I look up, "Say my friend, you wish to do something nice for you brother am I correct?"

There was a pause, "Yeah….? I mean the guy's always doin' great things for me, I only pay the bills and house, nothin' more to it than that."

I shook my head, by the way he talked, there was a lot more to what he did than even he saw. "Why not bake your brother a pie."

There was a laugh, "What?"

I laugh as well. "Do not laugh, I mean it, why not bake a treat for him, you do cook, do you not?"

There was a laugh once more that settled down to a chuckle. Mirth clearly heard on his voice. "Sure a little, I mean, for hot dogs and junk-" I rose a brow…hot….dog?...I shook my head as he continued. "But actual baking?"

There was a soft grunt and a laugh, "Sure! I'll take ya up on your idea…but what to make him."

I smile widely and puff out my chest, though it was unseen, "Why my children's favorite butterscotch… "

Another slip, I look down. My children…. My babies…. I bow my head, and grip the book I am holding. Had he have heard me I do not know. He made no comment about what I had said, but I feel he could sense the mood.

"Say do ya dance?"

That was such an odd question I scarcely thought I heard correctly. "Excuse me?" I croak out. He laughed, though it was soft and not malicious.

"I mean do ya, ya know dance? I'm not good at it but I know a little."

He was redirecting the conversation, for that I am grateful.

I laugh and shake my head, "I can waltz, formal dances really. Why do you ask- in fact it's such a strange question to ask?" I could not help the soft laughter in my voice as he joined me.

"Heh, I could hear ya getting down, I guess I sort of panicked and that was the first thing to come to mind."

It was sweet really. I smile wider as I hear a dull thud through the door. It gives me an idea. "DO you know waltzing?"

There was a loud laugh. "NOPE, I know how to move my body and that's enough."

I shook my head and smiled, "Stand up-"

"Wha?"

"Please, stand up, I am going to show you to waltz." There was a soft chuckle, but he stood up as well as I did. Dusting off my clothes I smile through the door. "Seeing as this is unconventional, I wish for you to close your eyes."

He laughed but the man was good to go with the flow, and it was getting my mind off my thought. He was truly helping. "Alright lady my eyes are closed now what."

I smile. "First place your hand on my hip."

"okay."

"Now I shall place my hand on your shoulder."

He chuckled and muttered, "Hope you don't have any expectations on how tall I am, 'cause I know I'll come up SHORT."

I rose a brow but quipped back," Nonsense, if anything I hope you can TALLERate how big I am."

We both stop for a moment to laugh and recollect ourselves.

"Okay, now" I hum softly." With your free hand place it in mine, for now we shall do a simple box step."

"A boa-what?"

I laugh softly shaking my head," a box step, since you are the male, you shall lead. I follow, but the moves are simple. First, Step forward with the left foot."

"Alright…"

I giggle, I feel so young right now," Now, Right foot step sideways to the right."

I can hear him stumble a little, "Lady, I think I'm doin' this wrong…" I giggle once more.

"Nonsense I'm sure you are doing wonderful."

"Says the lady safe in her home, I'm stumblin' out in the snow with my eyes closed, out in the open."

I couldn't help but laugh, "Just follow my instruction, next step, Bring your left foot next to your right foot." I can hear him move.

As I guide him through the steps I can hear his movements become more confident. Myself moving as well. Soon I forgot what ever was wrong in the first place. We both laughed as I more or less showed him the steps.

Finally, after a while we took a break. I sat down and grinned through the door, "See I told you it was a simple dance."

He hummed softly and cleared his throat.

"Hey lady…? I…I don't know what happened between your husband, or anything really…But when you are ready to talk, I'm always here to listen. All ya gotta do is knock."

I look down, my face rosy, feeling tears well up in my eyes as I smile. "Thank you…" I hoarsely whisper. "Let me say the feeling is more than mutual, should you ever need a friendly ear to listen to. I am here myself my friend…As well, now more than ever. Should we ever get out of here I shall go star gazing with you."

He chuckled warmly," Lady, if we ever get out of here I will WALTZ under the stars with you."

We sat there in silence for a while, mainly because, nothing more was needed to be said.


	7. We're friends

There were no dreams for me tonight.

Only memories, talking to him, spending time with him reminded me of bygone times when I was more than a ruin keeper. A friend, a lover, a wife, a mother and a queen. I forgot how much I missed that. Missed everyone depending on me like that, wanting me around, and listening to me. Making me feel important.

My friend, soon came over whenever his brother would not spend the night at their house. It was fun, sometimes we talked. We ate dinner together, with the door as a partition. A part of me came to resent this door, but I cannot open it. Should Asgore find out.

Regardless, whenever my friend came over, we would have fun. I was teaching him dancing and baking. He taught me constellations, and new cooking recipes. Raising his brother alone, he surprisingly knew a lot about cooking. To be quite honest, with his experience and stories, he was a proper father than brother. Even if his brother didn't really know it.

I have asked him about his occupation, he normally brushes it off as 'nothin' special' to talk about. Still it leaves much to the imagination.

He was becoming a close companion for me, even if we never saw each other's faces.

I look forward for the times he comes over and the times we spend with one another.

But…Whenever he leaves it reminds me of my self-imposed loneliness.

Most monsters are intimidated by my large stature and status as a boss monster, but he is not. Meaning I can talk to him like a normal person, laugh with him, be myself. It is rather odd to form a connection with someone you barely know, but in my heart I know it is there, small as it was it is slowly forming…and I am worried that if I was to be forward with my feelings…they would not be reciprocated…So I am content with sitting behind this door and talking to him.

Some days we talk about little things, how are days are, so on and so forth, but recently he has taken an interest in other things.

I sit on a blanket as I hear him chuckle.

"Okay, now go slower, now what's the egg yolk for?"

I smile. "It is to glaze the pie crust. It gives it that golden shine."

"Ahhhh, I see now. And that's no yolk."

I break out in loud laughter as he follows me. I lean into the door and sigh, far happier than I've been recently. He sounds so close if only I were brave enough to open the door.

"Ya okay in there?"

"hmmmm? Oh yes, thank you."

"Heh, glad to hear that." I smile, he sounds sincere. "So then I think I got it…"

I smiled, feeling a tender warmth to my cheeks. It is so nice to have someone ask that sincerely.

"Oh! Make sure to use a candy thermometer…I always have my fire magic so I know what temperature it is at all time, but for monsters without that type of magic, you need that to pre precise."

There is a long pause before he finally laughs out," the hell is a candy thermometer?"

I laugh as well, he sounded embarrass but it is not uncommon not to know what that item is if you are new to baking. "It helps measure the temperature for candies, you shall need it working with butterscotch. Had I the tool I would offer it to you."

"Heh pretty SWEET of you to offer, but in Snowdin I'm sure I can find a store that would have one- if not there the capital or Hotlands, maybe even the dump."

I giggle, how funny he was. I close my eyes as I listen to him speak.

"I think my bro will like some of these recipes, I can't wait to try them out. See what he likes."

I smile knowing I helped with that, feeling of use again. It had been so long since I felt that. "Thanks lady." I smile, feeling a warmth spread throughout me, and only the faintest of flutters in my chest.

"Please…I am happy to help."

From that moment on he was always asking me tips on baking and cooking, something nice to do for his baby brother. The latter of which constantly looks out for his older brother, mainly by maintain the household and its upkeep. Cooking food on most occasions, and working hard and diligently. I admire his brothers work ethic if anything. He sounds like a down to earth soul. I told my friend from behind the door this, he laughed and said he would tell his brother.

Days now seemed to fly by hours melting into mere moments when I talk to him. I may not know his name, but I feel I know a lot about him at this point, for someone so funny and wise, he can be cynical at times. Then fall into bouts of depression when talking, he has been so kind to me when I tend to fall into these bouts, I try to do the same. Then the more recent sitting by the door and just talking to one another if his brothers not home. I like those the most because it feels like...I am getting ahead of myself, these new feelings are overwhelming me and I must stop it, he is a friend and nothing more. I do not even know what he looks like, or even his name.

We may be close friends but we are still strangers in a sense.

This night, he was not by the door, his brother must have been home. I made my merger meal, some rice, a slice of snail pie and a little soup on the side. I follow this with a tuber salad and some homemade juice. I am in no mood for dessert this night so after dinner I clean up and head to bed early. I am strangely tired this day. Maybe just drained.

As I lay in bed, slowly darkness consumed me. I thought at first I was having another dreamless night…until…I realized I could move. It was so cold. SO very cold and dark. I saw nothing but the fast darkness the landscape had to offer. It was very unnerving. Distantly I could hear the gurgles and droplets of water, flowing endlessly.

The Waterfalls? How could I have gotten here?

I look around in the darkness, hearing the vast waters swirl and gurgle around me. Faintly in the far peripherals of my eyes I could see lights…But whenever I turned to look at them directly, they would fade into darkness. I shiver lightly as I wander blindly in the darkness. The sound of rushing water deafening as I reach out. It is…so very cold here.

I stop to catch my breath, it is so very hard to breath, as if something is restricting me from the mere act of taking in air. As I release the contents of my lungs, it forms in front of my face in the facade of a misty cloud before dispersing.

I sigh slightly," Where am I…" I wonder aloud as I looked around. I am very alone. So very alone and cold. I rub my shoulders in a feeble attempt to warm myself up. Something is not right…my magic…it is not working…why isn't my magic working? "It's so cold here…And so dark…" I speak once more to myself, to drive the silence away from me.

I trudge on alone, stopping, I am, so very tired.

I look around and call out, "Someone help me…" I feel myself losing strength as my panic slowly starts to rise, it's too dark here, the water is too loud, it is to quiet. I call out again. "Anyone…Please…. Help me…" I feel my movements getting more sluggish by the moment. Am I to die here?

I am met with silence…nobody came…

The darkness consumes me as I cry out.

…..

Heh…. This next part is embarrassing to say the least but to fully tell my story I must…go on with it. That nightmare was so real so vivid, it had me tossing and turning in my bed. I was so scared I somehow managed to tangle myself in my sheets.

I awake in a start, and because I am still in the belief I am in this nightmare realm try to stand up, only to fall off my bed. I struggle in my blankets from my half dazed panic and manage to make it to my feet. I did not help the matter at all that the lights were off for the night, making my nightmare more so a reality at best. Had I a clear mind I would have thought to turn on the light, but alas I was still captive to sleeps fog. So I did what any person in my position would do…. I ran…Scared out of my mind out of my room, almost running into the bedroom door.

I blame my sleep addle state for my course of actions, but at the time I didn't care. Once I managed to open the door, I finally 'woke' up. I panted as I felt cold sweat form on my brow. I looked around in the hall and nearly jumped a foot in the air when I saw someone looking back at me. I flicked on the lights to see, my own reflection.

I leaned on the wall to collect my thoughts and berate myself for acting so foolish. I pant and looked back at my bedroom, great a mess to clean up. I look at the stairs that are no more than walk down the hall, and without thinking make the trek over. I stop at the top and look downwards into the dark void. Swallowing thickly, I make my decent.

To this day I cannot tell you what on earth possessed me to go down to the door. But go I did. I stop and lean into the cool wooden frame. It holds solid and the coolness is refreshing, unlike the icy counterpart the nightmare held. I sigh and closed my eyes as I tiredly raise a hand and weakly chuckle as I knock.

"Knock…Knock…." I hoarsely whisper.

"Whose there?"

I jump and trip over my own feet in surprise, I land roughly on my bottom, taking my second tumble for the night and look at the door wide eyed. No…He couldn't… I stare long and hard at the door, wondering if I had imagined the entire voice when there was a soft chuckle. I felt my cheeks, no, my face grow hot.

"Whose there? Not gonna answer? Alright… Then I got one…Knock, knock."

With each knock I see the door frame shake a little. I cannot help but croak out," Who is there?" Could he really be here this late at night? Good lord what time was it? I must look a fright with my night gown and…. The door between us…My lord it must be late for me to think like this. He spoke again.

"Justin."

To the point and punctual. I rose a brow, still trying to process what indeed is going on. "Justin who?"

There was a warm chuckle as he answered, "Justin the Neighborhood and thought I'd drop by…. Ya okay in there?"

I start to laugh, I laugh hard. I laugh so hard I break down into a sob. I was so scared, and here he was…just like he said he would be. He was here…When I needed him, like I needed. I slowly crawl to the door and sob softly feeling foolish, such a child to cry from a bad dream. Yet here I was bawling my eyes out…God it was so real the darkness, so overpowering and consuming. I lean into the cold wood as I start to calm down running the back of my hand against the cold wood. He says nothing but I know he is still out there. Patient as ever waiting for me to calm down.

Once I do I look at the door, "I…am sorr-"

"Whoa, lady listen…Are you okay?"

I look at the door and shook my head, but my words contradicted my actions. "Yes…Yes I am better. Thank you."

"Bullshit." I rose a brow at this. "Like hell you're okay, look if you don't to tell me okay. Fine, but you…you don't need to lie to me. If you're not okay. Then you're not okay. I just want to help, so please. Don't lie to me…"

I grip my chest as I mull over his words, they are so sincere I wish I could just comply with what he said but I find myself reeling.

"Please…I am…not ready to talk about this….But…Could you perhaps stay with me." I look at the door.

I hear him sigh, then speak, " Of course…"


	8. If I had words

"So…are we ever gonna talk about what happened the other night?"

I look at the door, flushed with embarrassment. It had been a week since the supposed 'episode' I suffered. I ran a hand over my face. It gave me a moment to think of something. Normally I would brush it off as nothing more than a nightmare, but to my friends credit he was insistent this time. He met me word for word, he was good at picking out evasion.

I would say it is nothing.

'Not to you last night.'

I would tell him it is just a nightmare.

He says, 'Well then you shouldn't have any trouble telling me then. If it's just a nightmare after all.'

I tell him enough.

He counters, 'Lady it's buggin' ya and to an extent it's bugging me now. You were broken up last night, so it had to be bad. I want to help.'

He only wants to help me. It is frustrating but at the same time almost enduring. I lean into the door and sigh, "It is foolish…."

Once more to counter, "Then it wouldn't be such a big deal to you…" I look at the door almost annoyed. I believe I am finally at my limit to his questioning. I blow a sigh and shook my head. "Please…I do not want to talk about it."

He sighs frustrated himself. I look at the door, "Besides you have yet to tell me why you were at my door last night to begin with."

As frustrating as I am with my night terror. He is equally just as frustrating. He will not tell me why he was out late that night. He is a master of evasion and dancing around subjects that make him uncomfortable. Hence we are at a stalemate. I worry about him, and he dose me.

"Lady I'm not the one on trial here."

"As am I. I wish for us to move on from this."

There was another annoyed grunt. "Fine…at least for right now."

A victory, albeit small. I sit back more comfortable with the situation now on the backburner. We sit in silence for a while.

"So how did your brother like the pie?"

There was a chuckle, "Well It was alright…Not perfect but it would do. Though I gotta say I need to teach him, there's more to life than quiche's." He laughs as well as I. Oh how adorable. "Yeah not a professional baker just yet but it wasn't bad for a first attempt."

I smile at that. I feel a slight rush of pride getting my friend into something new. I sit forward stretching, wiggling my toes to keep them from falling asleep. I lean back as he chuckled once more.

"Heh I may think about branching out in using the oven. I dunno what do you think, dose the idea sound HALF BAKED to you?"

I howl in laughter at the unexpected pun, he laughs with me. I close my eyes and giggle as I add in, "Well it doesn't sound OVER COOKED to me." We laugh together as I close my eyes, the laughter warming my soul.

After a long bout of silence, he says something peculiar to me.

"Say lady…. Can I ask you something?" I didn't even have a chance to answer. "Ya know what? Never mind…" I look at the door and frowned.

"Is everything alright?"

He gave off such a melancholy laugh I worry further. "Yeah, it's nothing…." I hear him mumble to himself. I feel my face crease in worry.

"My friend, just as you are here for me…I am here for you…"

He was silent for a moment then I hear a gently tap at the door.

"I know lady…. thank you…. Look….Lady I need to get going…I….I'll talk to you later okay?"

I look down at my hands in worry before looking back at the door between us.

"Alright. Farewell, I shall talk to you tomorrow."

…

The ending of our conversation had me fretting over dinner. As I sat at my table, silently looking at my meal, I try to think of a way to cheer up my friend. He sounded so down, but how do you help a monster you have never really met before, physically speaking.

I push away from the table, no longer feeling hungry as I take to pacing. I walk into the den, stop then turn pacing. It is hard to think of a way to do something nice for a person when you cannot give them gifts or even see them. I yearn to take his ache away but alas, I cannot. Whatever weighs heavily on his mind, is for him to keep. And he will not let me hold his burden.

I stop, my nose starting to smoke from frustration, I may be a silly old lady, but that doesn't me I am incompetent! I smirk as I form an idea. It may not do as well as talking out the problem but maybe forgetting for a bit will help in the long run. I make a quick run to old home, it is stationed in the middle of the ruins, and return with an old weathered record player. I smile at my idea as I head downstairs. If I must I shall camp the night if only to catch him again. I set it up and touch the door.

"Knock, knock," I say firmly. I wait, no reply. I blow more smoke from my nose in frustration. Not here, sometimes he is, but today is a day he does not return for the second time. I sigh and turn, no matter I gives me time to set myself up here. I grab an old quilt, pillows a book or two and so on to make myself comfortable this night.

I lean back once ready and read to myself. Thus I spent the night camped out at the door, randomly knocking at the door. In a vague hope that he shall answer. I shuck my responsibilities this day, if only for this day. Save for my lunch with my beloved child. I shall never forsake that.

Soon I return to my camp and sit at the door. I narrow my eyes as I knock again. Nothing….I now blow smoke from my mouth ready to give him a stern lecture once he comes. I stop and laugh at my own nerve. Poor man would have no idea why I am berating him.

I lean into the door and closed my eyes. Still chuckling as I knock again.

"Knock, knock."

"Whose there?"

I smile at the door and blush, he sounded a little down. I grin, perfect, just the mood I was kinda hoping for, as strange as it may be. He is so kind and helpful. Finally, a chance to repay his kindness.

"Adore."

"Adore who?"

I blush, adore you? No to forward. "Adore between us, that is why I am knocking." An old used one, I believe we've used the best material between the two of us. Still he chuckled.

I touch the door, "My friend, how are you this day?"

He sounds so tired as he answered. "I've been better how about you."

I feel my face heat up as I cover it in embarrassment, now wondering if this truly is a good idea, but the tone in his voice gives me the courage to move forward.

I shuffle on my knees a bit closer to the door and take a deep breath. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. I feel my face glow red with embarrassment as I closed my eyes.

"Lady ya still there?"

I touch the door now with both hands, "I am, I just notice you seem down yourself. Call me…. a little old lady who worries far too much, but I do care about you, you have been so kind to me. I wish to repay your kindness- "He is about to speak but I close my eyes.

"I cannot give you anything physical to show how much I care, but I can give you words."

There is a pause, he sounded so unsure himself. "W…what are ya talkin' about…I-I mean it's really nothing lady we're friends and I just- "

I clear my throat, "And friends help friends when their feeling down."

There was a sigh, I smirk to myself, one thing we have in common more so than anything else is that we tend to keep our burdens to ourselves.

"Lady It's fine…I'm…I'm fine. "

I blush and sit right by the door, I dust off my habit. Clearing my throat and closing my eyes.

"Well then I hope you do not mind me then. Forgive me, if I am a bit rusty. It has been a long while since I have done something like this."

Another pause.

I do not wait for him to speak. I cannot, if I do, surely I shall lose my bravery, I have been building. When my children were, upset no matter what, nothing failed to bring a smile to their face quiet like a song. So with my building bravery I start to belt out a tune. It is wordless at first, but I hope he will appreciate it.

As I sing, I wonder briefly if he is there. He's gone silent. Once I am done I feel myself hot. The whole thing drove me to sweat. I look down at my habit and then the door. He's been oddly silent since I started to sing.

"The…other night…When that whole thing happened…. I…I was here…heh…more or less because I had a nightmare, I didn't want to wake Paps up so…I figured I'd just try my luck here… Silly ain't it?"

I stop and stare at the door wide eyed. Quickly I got to my knees and touched the door again. "NO!" I flinch, I had not meant to be THAT loud. "No…. No…Of course not, actually that is what happened to me that night…I had a nightmare as well. Heh…. Small world is it not?"

There was sheepish laughter. I smile, "Yeah, it is. Mine are seriously Fu-Screwed up. I uhhh get them a lot so sometimes I tend to avoid sleeping at night." I furrow my brows in disapproval.

"Advoiding the problem does not make it go away." I am a fine one to talk.

"Yeah but for the moment it makes it easier to deal with."

I sigh, "My friend you have a good point, but it is not right. How about this, I shall tell you my nightmare. In exchange you do the same? Do we have a deal?"

There was a long pause before he speaks again, "Alright, but If these dreams scare you off, I warned ya."

I smile and giggle, "Do not worry, I can deal with nightmares…With my eyes closed."

He laughs as do I.

"Alright- but you go first."

I pale a little but bravely close my eyes and speak, "Foolish as this is, my nightmare was about…being lost in the dark, alone, calling for help. It did not help me awaking in a pitch black bedroom. I kept calling out but…. But nobody came…. "

I blush fretting once more, surely he thinks my dreams are foolish.

"Wow…that sounds horrible…"

I look at the door, he sounded sincere.

"Heh…. I get alotta dreams really. Like one, where I'm in this endless hall, fighting against this…thing. It keeps trying to stab me." How awful. "Or another where I'm all alone in the underground, my brother and everyone leaves me. Or one where I'm sleeping and I get stabbed right in the chest. Sometimes I wake up trying to see if I still have that marking." Dear lord. I feel the color drain from my face. What ghastly dreams he has.

"Some nights…. I dream of someone I use to know…. Melting. They are, not around anymore, so it makes for 'fun' times in the home stead."

I frown and rest my head against the door.

"I know the feeling-"

"Huh?"

"To lose someone that is…I know how it feels to lose, someone important." Far more than he could ever know. He is silent and I hear him speak.

"I'm sorry."

I smile, "It is okay. I have found a way to slowly make peace with my past."

There was a pause then a soft, "Same here, but, I mean…No body faults ya if ya can't do it in one day. A hurt like this…doesn't go away in a day or an hour…More like over time."

I smile and touch the door, my vision blurs. Someone who understands. I feel a strange warmth bloom in my chest, moving outwards and enveloping me. I cannot place the feeling for the life of me, but it is old and familiar. It is comforting.


	9. Reset

We spent hours talking about our nightmares, to be honest it was therapeutic. I smiled as I looked up, listening to the soft rumble in his voice. I didn't realize it was so easy to speak to someone with someone when you cannot see their face. It makes me wonder what else you may speak about when there is not pressure of gauging a facial response.

"Yea, about then I woke up, messed up I know but believe it or not that's one of the tamer nightmares I've ever had." I look down and shook my head, my what horrible dreams this poor man suffers from. I sigh and feel foolish now. My nightmares compared to his are so small and petty, it is little wonder he does not laugh at me when I speak.

His nightmares are, bad things…Death of love ones, memories of family bygone and passed and just death in general. If not that a smiling Spector that harms those it touches. Truly the things nightmares are born from. I look down and try to think of a way to help.

He speaks up, "Eh, but ya know I'm used to it. It's okay."

I blink and for some reason his words upset me. "No it is not. Forgive me friend but you should never be use to such bad dreams it does not seem fair."

There is a pause for a moment I think I may have scared him off as I so often lead myself to believe but then I hear him, "Thank you, lady. I know this isn't much but it means a lot…Still thanks, it means a lot to me…. Look I'm gonna ask you something funny and ya can't laugh. I may be a funny guy but this is important…. Have ya ever gotten the feeling of De ja vu?"

I raise a brow, both at the question and the way it was delivered. He sounded so timid as if he was afraid to even ask me. I rub my chin in thought then nodded.

"Certainly hasn't everyone?"

There was a sigh, he sounded…almost…disappointed? I cannot for the life of me tell.

"Y…Yeah….I tend to get that a lot. I just wondered…Naw, it's dumb-"

"No it is not, if it is bothering you…then it is bothering me. Please…. Let me help you like you do me."

I feel embarrassed to say It aloud but I just want to be so helpful to the only person I've grown connected to in a long time. There was a pause.

"What…What if I told you those weren't De ja vu….and the dreams weren't just dreams?"

I sat stock still and looked down at my hands trying to comprehend what he was saying to me.

"What if…What if I told you all those are memories, and actions you've done before?"

"You mean like in a past life-"

"No…. Like sorta a time reset…. Look I know it's hard to grasp but…for right now let's say. What I'm telling you is the truth."

I rub my shoulders. I feel the air has gotten colder somehow. I do not like this flow of conversation.

"that…. sounds very scary…. So…. both good dreams and bad…"

"Would have happened…. I'm sorry I shouldn't have said anything."

He sounded so disheartened I place my hand on the door only wishing to comfort him.

"I believe you," I whisper to him. There was a long pause.

"You…. You do." It came out more of a statement than a question. I touch my chest, right where my soul would be.

"With all my soul."

Slowly the door became blurry as the room dims. The walls waver and seem to change as I call out to him the last thing I remember was his deep baritone voice calling out to me.

"Lady, you have no idea how much that means to me."

I awoke in my bed confused, that…. was a peculiar dream. I roll out of bed and shook the strange cold feeling I got as I remember the conversation I had with him right before I woke up. It was so real, like it had happened…But it couldn't have. It was just a dream.

Though one thing bugged me all day long as I went through my routine.

What he said about the nightmares and dreams being a result of resets in time as appose to just imaginations running wild as we sleep.

The funniest thing of all is that, like the dream the same thing happened we confessed about, the singing, confessions of the nightmares, it was down to the letter…only…only he never admitted about the resets. If anything he sounded slightly tired as he spoke.

"No it is not. Forgive me friend but you should never be use to such bad dreams it does not seem fair."

I frown as I got that weird sense of De Ja Vu, and recalled the dream I had this morning prior to our conversation. I waited a bit for him to continue but instead he just sighs. I hear him mutter to himself. It is heartbreaking, he sounds so disheartened. I look down at my hands, this would sound and seem odd to come from me but I take the chance to speak aloud.

"Find this funny as you may but I had a dream about us this morning." I hear a strangely flustered chuckle.

"W-What?"

It took me a second to realize how I phrased that and hid my hands in my face embarrassed.

"I-I mean since we're on the topic of dreams, I mean and not in THAT sort of nature." Oh god why is it when you try to recover from something so embarrassing that you end up making it 5 times worse AND on that topic you remember more flustering things that do not help the situation? The distinct memory of us being a quite cozy couple in one dream came front and center in my mind's eye as I spoke.

I clear my throat, if only to stabilize the situation at hand.

"I mean, I dreamt about this conversation. Us talking like this. Only…."

There was a beat of silence before he spoke up.

"Yeah?" It sounded, hopeful? I shook my head.

"Only you spoke of something else at the end of our conversation, something about a reset…. While it was eerie…I wanted to state…Even though I do not understand fully, or can quite grasp the situation. I would feel better letting you know, that is to say for my own wellbeing that I believe you. I mean, dream you would have no reason to scare or lie to me. Nothing really to gain, and I know this is silly, but…. But I just wanted to tell you. Call it…. Me being a silly little old lady. "

There was a soft chuckle behind the door between us. I feel a deep crimson blush creep over my face.

"I guess dream me must be…AWAKE to a situation, I'm not…" I look at my hands and giggle at the pun.

"Not so much awake, but aware…. The kind of awareness I wished I had when I was younger. The kind that…." Could have saved lives. I feel myself shifting, as if I am falling, but not really. I lean against the door, mainly for support.

How is it, that whenever I try to let myself distance myself from my past, I find myself struggling to keep myself above the ocean of sadness and grief. I shut my eyes and slowly bring both hands to my chest. They trembled, as I took a shaky breath trying to steady my nerves.

I need to leave, I inadvertently trigged this feeling. Memories…. Helplessness… Grief, I cannot live like this, still so fragile to talks of such thinks or allowing myself to be triggered into submission or hiding by mere words.

That being said one cannot know what it was like to lose not one or two children but seven. Seven lovely wonderful little angels, to lose a home, to lose a family. Time may have passed but the hurt is real , the hurt feels just as new as the day it happened.

"Forgive…I…I need to go."

"Wh…what- wait- "

I do not hear him, or at least what he has left to say. I scurry upstairs and collapse on my large chair by the fire. Far away from the stair well. I sink in further feeling bad for leaving in such a way. I really do, but, I cannot let him hear me cry. I cannot. Please do not ask me to explain. I just.

I cannot.

I cover my face and begin to sob, I do not know how long I have been there.


	10. I just can't

These next few days are particularly hard on me.

I do not feel the sadness I felt on the first day, just this great yawning emptiness. Simple actions are meaningless to me, such as getting change or wanting to go out. I cry sometimes, but there is little to no emotion that goes into it, as if my body is just doing what it needs to do. I do not feel sad, but I wonder what is the point to all of it

To get up and get dressed, what point is it to change, monsters are afraid to speak to me down here. They see me coming, they either get out of my way or are too intimidated to speak to me. No one comes through the ruins so a few days of none upkeep will not matter. My selves are stocked, for the time being so really there is no reason to leave.

I lay in my, cold, dark room for hours at a time. Staring absent-minded at the wall as I let my thoughts drift back and forth. They are fractured, every so often haunting memories of my own children's, not the fallen, but Chara and dear sweet Asriel's death.

Aware, had I had been more aware to what they spoke of in those silent whispers. Had I had seen those private glances between one another…. Aware, had I kept a closer eye over the both of them. Their death was my fault. Had I had stressed to Chara how much I loved them they wouldn't…...wouldn't have felt the need to take their own life the way they did…Their death was not an easy one. Buttercup poisoning is by far…. the most gruesome of deaths, maybe if Asgore and I had seen the symptoms maybe they could have been saved, but…. but we did not. We assumed it was an illness, even when I left, with my child, I still thought.

Was it me? Was I not loving enough as a mother? Was I not strong enough as a remodel. I cannot grasp where I failed, save for one area. I was not aware enough. Then Asriel gathered their body and took their soul, he crossed the barrier. He was a good brother and would fulfill his siblings greatest wish. That cost my sweet baby his life. Why? WHY did they both feel the need to do this. Why?

I shut my eyes tightly as I feel the walls begin to blur, because their mother was worthless. She was more asinine than the rest and was the most blind. She assumed everything was fine. She…I…Assumed everything was fine. It was not. Asriel's death hurt, but it opened my eyes to some truths.

Not everyone will understand a mother's pain. Not everyone will see a remodel crumble. I lost two children in one night, I wished for one or two kind words of comfort, but no. I received nothing but empty words and false sympathy. They wanted their freedom, and with both children gone. They lost it. They were in morning, but more for the chance to see sunlight again, not for my children.

I see now, my next course of action was not the correct one. Instead of leaving my people I should have given my support, but at the time, I was heartbroken. I…I was not strong enough to deal with anything other than grief. I kept thinking of them, Chara so ill so fragile against their bed sheets as they took their final gasps. Asriel's dissolving body in our throne room, dust covering my…. body...

I feel tears sting my eyes and roll down my cheeks.

You know, even now, I still smell bile and medication when I walk past the children's room, and in the flower garden, every so often I smell dust mingle with the scent of buttercups. I believe those smells will never leave me in my immortal life, nor the memories of the others who have fallen to the hands of Asgore.

He…He never had a chance to meet them, to really talk to them and understand. Many forgive him for what he did, but I cannot. Not when I had talked to them, lived with them and loved them. They became as much my children as Asriel and Chara, and it hurts. It hurts that no one but me shall know their names. I believe it will be my secret to keep for all eternity.

The patient one, who waited with me the longest.

The brave one who went out bravely wanting a way to go home.

The integral one who wished to speak to Asgore about his morel wrongs.

The perseverant one who faced great obstacles but still went on despite them.

The kind one who only wanted to help and do the right thing.

The one who stood for justice who wished to go on, and just go home.

I know that they fell to Asgores hands, he is still alive and I have never heard of them from then on. I…I allowed them to their deaths. I let them die. I try, and try as a mother but I fail on even a basic level. I am no more than I coward.

A coward. An arsine coward who is no more than a pathetic whelp. I do not deserve to morn. I abandoned my people on selfish desires and am lower that than Asgore himself. For all the hatred I have for him, for all the evil he has done. I still played a role in the deaths of seven children. No matter how many times I shall wash my hands they shall never be clean.

I shut my eyes as I curl into a ball on my bed.

I just want the pain to stop. That is all. I do not want to hurt anymore.

I feel tired of everything, tired of breathing, of moving, of living in general. I only wish for my children back. The days where they would sneak into my bed after a bad nightmare. Hunting bugs together. I just wanted my babies back to me.

I find myself moving robotically. Chara, I forgot to water Chara's…Chara's plot today or weed it. I need to go and do that now, or the weeds will overtake the flowers. I have to make sure that they are watered or the flower will die. It was hard enough to get them to bloom, without magic, harder still with no direct sunlight and even one day of non-maintenance could spell disaster for the flower bed.

Even now at my lowest I am still tending to that little grave. It is all I have left. I mean, who else will tend to the flowers if I do not.

I grab my robe, there is no need to get dressed, I shall do that later. I just need. I need to water the flowers and weed the garden. Taking a deep breath, I make the short trip to the flower bed, ignoring all else. As predicted, there is no one in the way or near me. My boss monster status scaring them into hiding.

It possibly does not help I look a frightful mess. My fur around me wildly sticking this way and that, save for the two paths of matted fur running down both my cheeks. My eyes swollen, and red. Not the warm amber color they normally hold, but bloodshot and puffy, and I am still in my nightgown and robe. But none of that matters to me. Why should it.

I am not meeting anyone important. I just want to weed and water the plants. Then go lay down. Not move. For a very long time.

I get there in record time actually, with me being the only one to maintain the puzzles in the ruins, they have yet to be re-calibrated. Getting to the flower bed I set straight to work getting on my hands and knees robotically and working efficiently.

In all honesty, I hate buttercups. I hate them so much because they took my child from me, but, Chara wished to see them one last time, and these buttercups are special. These flowers were the ones that Asriel…. Died on…. In a sad way they are together forever, so long I maintain them. And Maintain them I shall.

Crushed flowers, grass and mud stain my robe and nightgown, I do not care as I finish by watering them. I turn and head back home. The walk silent and solemn.

Once I enter the house I walk to my bedroom in the dark, but something stops me. It was a sound. I look towards the basement sighing, I do not wish to talk to him now. Strangely though I feel myself walking towards the stairs, then down them. I close my eyes as I can hear him now clearly.

"Knock, knock. Come on lady knock, knock…. Please…. Knock…. Knock."

I grunt lightly as I let myself plop in front of the door and lean into the cold surface. It feels nice against my overheated face.

"Lady please…. Answer me…. Knock, knock…."

I close my eyes and hoarsely answer. My voice raw and weak from crying and nonuse.

"Who is it."

I do not have the strength nor the willpower to answer in our familiar banter. I only wish to get him to leave.

"Heh, you're supposed to say whose there…. But I'll let it slide. Missu."

I blinked my mind not really processing what he is saying.

"Missu?"

More of his weak chuckling.

"I've missu. Lady…what happened… one minute we're talking then you go off, for days. I thought…."

I look at the door and lean into it.

"Forgive me. I have been a bad friend." I hear my voice waver, another thing I have failed at.

"Wha? Look lady I can't get in there but I can assure you taking a few days off isn't being a bad friend I was just worried about you."

Lies, no one would worry about me, not the real me and certainly not him. Just more empty words and false sympathies. I look down, my voice sounds hallow, robotic.

"I am sorry. I did not mean to worry you. I…I am feeling better now." I am surprised how calm and almost cold I sound.

"Nope, don't believe you. Alright, I've been saving these for the MTT stage but ya asked for it lady."

"Please, pun don't." I barely manage to get out before he started.

"What do subatomic ducks say? Quark." I blink and stare at the door. What was he doing?

"Did ya hear about the book I've been reading, it's about helium, and well it's hard to put down."

Why is he doing this?

"What do you call a fake noodle? An Im-pasta-nator."

What does he have to gain from all this, why can't he leave me alone.

"How many Authors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2- one to screw in the lightbulb and the other to write about the experience."

Why can't he just go away like everyone else.

"What's White and black and red all over? An embarrassed skunk."

I take a deep breath, ready to tell him that's enough, but I find myself faltering, I took another breath, then another. Soon I realize I am hyperventilating as he speaks on. Joke after joke. Like the only thing driving him on…is to hear me laugh. I look down and realize my dress is starting to get wet. I am crying again.

"Why did the old man throw his clock out the window? He wanted to see time fly."

Why doesn't he stop, why does he keep going, surly…it isn't to hear me laugh? No…It cannot be. However, then why is he here. Trying so desperately joke after joke, I cannot fathom what drives him for the life of me.

"Did ya hear the story about the annoying vampire? He was a pain in the neck-"

That one was horrible even for him, but weakly I cracked a smile. I leaned into the door and hugged myself as I laughed, I laughed so hard I was crying. Why was he doing this. Why not go away and leave me alone like the monsters in the ruins do. I am not worth the trouble.

It took me a long time before I realized he had stopped talking. I bowed my head, I scared him away.

Taking a shaky breath, I moved to stand, my legs- no every part of me feeling weak.

"Lady…ya feeling better?"

I look at the door shocked. I cover my mouth and bowed my head.

"Yes…thank you…I'm so sorry…I did not mean to worry you…truly…Thank you…for…trying to make me feel better…"

"Eh, don't sweat it. Ya okay, I don't mean to pry and feel free to tell me off. If. If I'm getting to personal…but you sound like you need someone to talk to."

I look at the door tiredly. Then down at my arms, I feel weak, so old as my body is, despite the youthful appearance.

"Yes…. I believe I do want to talk."


End file.
